by Kathy Eugster
November 1, 2024
The bond between grandparents and grandchildren is a special one, filled with love, wisdom, and shared experiences. Changes in life expectancy over the past century have altered the nature of grandparent–grandchild relations, with the result that they can now last well into the grandchild’s adulthood. The grandparent-grandchild relationship is distinct from other family relations and it offers an important source of mutual social support.
Playtime is a crucial part of a child’s healthy development, fostering creativity, social skills, and emotional well-being. For grandparents, it offers a precious opportunity to bond with their grandkids. When grandparents and their grandchildren spend quality time together, they can create lasting memories and strengthen this unique relationship.
However, playing with their grandchildren can be a workout for grandparents! Tasks such as lifting, carrying, bending down, and following children around can be physically tiring. Not to mention the mental stimulation and demands of providing focused attention to grandchildren during playtime. Also, adults may find it difficult to get into a “play” mode with children because we might fear appearing silly and so do not activate our playful natures as much as we did when we were young.
But recent research indicates that playtime between grandparents and their grandkids provides health benefits for both young and old. Playing with children is valuable not only for children but also for grandparents, who can re-experience or reawaken the joy of their own childhood and rejuvenate themselves. Research does indicate that grandparents who play regularly with their grandchildren stay active and healthy longer.
In this blog, I’ll provide some playtime tips for grandparents and we’ll also explore some easy and enjoyable play activities that will help grandparents connect with their grandkids and make the most of their time together.
Create a safe, organized, and comfortable setting ahead of time
- Ensure the play area is safe and childproofed. This will reduce your anxiety and the need for constantly having to set limits or say “no.”
- Ensure the space has comfortable seating for adults. Being at ease physically helps you engage more in playtime.
- Provide toys and activities that are suitable for your grandchild’s age and developmental stage and according to their interests to ensure things are both challenging and enjoyable. You can keep playtime fresh by rotating toys and activities regularly to prevent boredom and to maintain your grandchild’s interest.
- Keep toys organized in bins on low shelves or on the floor, so your grandchild can choose what to play with.
Set a time limit for playtime
Let your grandchild know ahead of time how long you can play together, for example, “We can play together for 20 minutes now.” Then give your grandchild a five-minute and one-minute warning before ending the playtime. This eases ending playtime and prevents long, drawn-out playtimes that may be difficult to end.
Saying “No”
If you need to say “no” to your grandchild, it is often helpful to redirect them to something more appropriate and even give them a couple of choices, for example, “No jumping on the bed; if you want to jump, you can jump on these cushions or you can sit on the bed. Which do you choose?” or “No, you can’t have a lollipop, but you can have this apple or these grapes. Which do you want?”
For more information on how you can set limits during playtime, please go to, Setting Limits in Playtime
You CAN engage in imaginary play!
Children love imaginary play and this is an excellent way to engage your grandchildren in interactive playtime. Be a play partner and join in imaginary play whether it’s pretending to be superheroes or princesses or cooking in a play kitchen. Your participation encourages creativity and shows your grandchild you value their interests.
Imaginary play may seem challenging, but here are some tips:
- Objects do not need to look realistic, for example a stick or a box can be almost anything you want it to be.
- Use first person narrative when you pretend to be a character, for example, if you are pretending to be a king, you would say, “Now, where is my crown? I want to wear my crown!”
- Try to add a bit of feeling to what you are saying to match the situation. It is fairly easy to change your voice to being louder, quieter, higher, lower, anxious, or excited. And, you don’t need to say a lot; just a few words are all you need to get the feeling across. For example, you can pretend to be:
- Angry by putting on an angry face and saying, “Arrgggg! Now I’m really mad!!!”
- Impatient by putting your hands on hips and saying, “Oh no! This is taking too long!”
- Afraid by looking scared and saying, “Ahhh, help, help!”
- Surprised by acting startled and saying, “Yikes! That surprised me!”
- Brave by acting powerful and strong saying, “I’m so brave! That’s nothing! Look at me!”
- Excited by saying loudly and happily, “Wow! This is great! I love this!”
- Sad by looking downcast and saying, “Boo hoo, I’m so sad, Whaaaa!”
- Cunning by being secretive and saying, “Hahaha, that will trick them!”
- Role-playing imaginary characters is easier if done through a toy rather than acting out the role yourself. Instead of taking on the role of a character yourself, take on the role of a toy character by holding onto the toy and moving it around as you give voice to it, for example, hold on to a dragon and move it around while you say, “Now I’m flying to the castle!” It is much easier to fly a dragon toy back and forth in front of you than to pretend to be a dragon yourself running around the room!
For more information on imaginary play, please see, Fantastical Play: Like Alice in Wonderland!
Say “Yes” to physical activities
With physically active play, whether indoors or outdoors, grandparents can support their grandchildren in ways that are less physically demanding. Children love it if you participate to some extent in physical activity with them, however, it is very important to know your own physical limits and to be aware of what you can and cannot do!
Physical activities for grandparents and grandchildren should fit with each partners’ physical abilities. Find an activity that you can both engage in and enjoy together.
- Finding a nearby playground or going for a nature walk outdoors are wonderful settings for play that provide a rich sensory experience and many opportunities for exploration.
- Share your love of gardening with your grandchildren. Planting flowers or vegetables together can be a fun and educational experience. Teach them about the different types of plants and how to care for them,
- Enjoy music together. Put on some music and sing or clap along, or even dance, to your favorite songs. Music has a magical way of bringing generations together, and singing and dancing are joyful ways to express yourselves.
- For chasing play, you don’t need to chase your grandchild the same way another child would chase. All that you need to do is to take two or three quick steps towards your grandchild as you reach out to them with your hands, or even just stay seated and lean towards and reach for your grandchild, pretending to “get them” but failing in your attempt. Remember not to be too strong or fast because children love it when they get away or win.
- For hide-and-seek, instead of hiding yourself, hide a toy or small object somewhere when your grandchild hides their eyes, then get them to find it.
Grandparents should follow some practical guidelines for keeping safe and to avoid injury while playing with their grandchildren. Here are a few tips:
- Be aware of your general fitness level and take into account any physical limitations or conditions that could be aggravated.
- Stop before you get over-tired.
- Set limits on physical play from your grandchild such as roughhousing or play fighting
Quieter activities are also great
- Board games, card games, and puzzles: These activities are fantastic for stimulating the mind and encouraging teamwork. There are so many games and puzzles available these days for every age range. Choose the most appropriate for your grandchild’s age and stage.
- Making and building activities: Activities using Lego, wooden or magnetic blocks, other types of building sets, or simple building materials (such as cardboard, tape, popsicle sticks, and string) encourage imagination and creativity, while being educational at the same time. Working on projects together also provides opportunities for meaningful conversations.
- Arts and crafts activities: Get creative with your grandkids by engaging in arts and crafts projects. Examples include coloring drawing, painting, beading, or simple wood crafts.
- Incorporate educational elements: Integrate educational toys and games that promote learning in a fun way. Puzzles, building sets, and science kits can be both entertaining and educational and can ignite curiosity and spark interesting conversations.
- Cooking and baking together: Cooking and baking together is not only a fun way to bond but it also teaches valuable life skills to pass on to your grandchildren. Let your grandchild help with measuring ingredients, mixing, and decorating. Then have fun tasting the results!
- Reading books together: One of the most timeless and cherished activities for grandparents and grandchildren is reading together. Choose age-appropriate books that capture your grandchild’s imagination and embark on adventures through the pages of a story. Use different voices and expressions to make story time lively and engaging.
Final tips to make your playtime fun
- Provide lots of opportunities to allow your grandchild to lead the play and you follow your grandchild’s directions. Let your grandchild guide the play as long as things stay safe and nondestructive. This boosts your grandchild’s confidence and makes them feel in control, enhancing their enjoyment. Also, don’t feel you need to figure out what’s going on in the play, like asking, “Why is the princess going in there?” or “Why are you climbing on that?” Just watch, describe out loud what is happening, and let the play unfold.
- Be fully present. Be attentive during playtime. Focus on the quality of time spent together rather than the quantity. Being fully present and attentive makes a significant impact on the quality of the play.
- Put away phones and other distractions and devote 100% of your attention to your grandchild.
- Be prepared for repetitive play. Children may want to repeat play activities and it requires patience on the part of the adult at times to remain attentive during repetitive play!
- Virtual adventures. If you are physically separated from your grandchildren, don’t let distance hinder your connection. Use technology to your advantage and have virtual playdates through video calls.
- Keep it fun. The ultimate goal of playtime is to have fun; keep the atmosphere light-hearted and joyful, ensuring that both you and your grandchild look forward to these moments together.
The beauty of being a grandparent is having the opportunity to create cherished memories with your grandchildren. By following these tips, you can strengthen your bond, impart valuable life lessons, and most importantly, have a lot of fun together. So go ahead and spend quality time with your grandkids, because the moments you share will be treasured forever.
For more playtime tips, please go to my Blog page, Pacific Spirit Play Resources Blog, where there are over 40 blog articles on play.
References
Duflos, M., Lane, J., & Brussoni, M. (September 22, 2023). Motivations and challenges for grandparent-grandchild outdoor play in early childhood: Perceptions of Canadian grandparents. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/fare.12952
Moffatt, K., David, J., & Baecker, R. (2013). Connecting Grandparents and Grandchildren. In C. Neustaedter et al. (Eds.)., Connecting Families. (pp. 173-193). Springer. DOI 10.1007/978-1-4471-4192-1
Washington Post. (August 2023). Want to live longer? Play with your grandkids. It’s good for them, too. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/08/06/children-grandparents-play-health-benefits/
You may want to consider this:
If you are interested in learning more about parent-child or caregiver-child play, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2024.
Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful.
Contact me at: keugster@telus.net