Kathy Eugster
July 22, 2025
While playing with your child might seem simple, there are specific play skills that can make your time together even more meaningful and beneficial. We’ll explore the benefits of learning and using intentional play skills, and how even small changes in how you play can make a big difference in your child’s development and in your relationship with them.
To make things simple, I have developed a Playtime Quick Start Series where you can learn a play skill in five minutes or less! This Blog will teach you how to use the Following Directions Skill, one of the nine play skills I have identified to help parents connect with their children through play.
Instructions for the Following Directions Skill:
The objective of the Following Directions Skill is provide your child with a sense of control.
Use the Following Directions Skill when your child asks you to join with them in play, for example, by asking you to do a task such as drawing a house, inviting you to engage in imaginary play together, or requesting to play a game together.
To practice this skill, think of an activity that your child enjoys, such as building with Lego, drawing, playing a board game, setting up a zoo, or pretending to be someone like a superhero/villain or doctor/patient. Invite your child to participate together in this activity. Indicate that you and your child don’t have to follow any instructions or play by the rules and you can play the way your child wants.
Ideally, your child will give you directions on what to do. When this happens, use the Following Directions Skill and respond by following your child’s directions and by doing what you think your child would like you to do.
Keep the following in mind:
- Your child will correct you if you do it wrong, so just follow their directions. If they don’t give you any directions or if you are really unsure, you may ask a brief question, such as “What would you like me to do?”
- If your child is asking you to do something unsafe or destructive, you would not do what they have directed, but rather you would redirect them to an appropriate behavior.
Afterwards, reflect on this activity:
- How did you feel doing this activity? How did you feel following your child’s directions?
- How did your child respond when you used the Following Directions Skill? Did your child give you a few or many directions to follow?
- Keep track over several days of the times you used the Following Directions Skill. Do you feel more comfortable using this skill?
For more information on following your child’s directions, especially during Child-Directed Playtime, please see the following:
Child-Directed Play in 4 Easy Steps!
6 Key Concepts for Child-Directed Play with Your 3-10 Year-old Child
You may want to consider this:
If you are interested in learning more about parent-child playtime, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2025.
Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful.
Contact me at: keugster@telus.net