Kathy Eugster
July 22, 2025
While playing with your child might seem simple, there are specific play skills that can make your time together even more meaningful and beneficial. We’ll explore the benefits of learning and using intentional play skills, and how even small changes in how you play can make a big difference in your child’s development and in your relationship with them.
To make things simple, I have developed a Playtime Quick Start Series where you can learn a play skill in five minutes or less! This Blog will teach you how to use the Engagement Skill, one of the nine play skills I have identified to help parents connect with their children through play.
Instructions for the Engagement Skill:
The objective of the Engagement Skill is to stimulate and maintain interactive engagement of your child with you in play.
To practice this skill, choose and set up a play activity that would be fun and interesting, and possibly somewhat stimulating or challenging for your child to engage in with you. Get your child’s attention and initiate the play activity with your child by showing and explaining what to do.
Examples of using the Engagement Skill:
- Imitate what your child is doing
- Initiate a specific play activity
- Suggest an imaginary play scenario by providing ideas and props
- Take on the role of a play character
Keep the following in mind:
- Increase your emotional intensity by being playful, silly, or even surprising.
- Maintain your child’s engagement in the play activity by keeping things fun and interesting and supporting and praising your child in doing the activity.
- Remember not to be too demanding or directive in instructing your child. At times, allowing your child to make their own decision can increase your child’s engagement.
Afterwards, reflect on this activity:
- How did you feel doing this activity? Were you comfortable structuring a play activity with your child?
- How did your child respond when you used the Engagement Skill? Did your child resist your directions? Did your child engage readily?
- Keep track over several days of the times you used the Engagement Skill. Are you able to initiate and maintain engagement with your child using this skill?
For more information on encouraging your child to engage in play with you:
Let’s Play! Using Parent-Directed Playtime Strategies to Encourage Play
When to “Jump In” and When to “Back Off”: Finding the Right Balance in Your Child’s Playtime
The Many Hats Parents Wear During Playtime: Finding Your Role in Your Child’s World
You may want to consider this:
If you are interested in learning more about parent-child playtime, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2025.
Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful.
Contact me at: keugster@telus.net