Kathy Eugster
July 22, 2025
While playing with your child might seem simple, there are specific play skills that can make your time together even more meaningful and beneficial. We’ll explore the benefits of learning and using intentional play skills, and how even small changes in how you play can make a big difference in your child’s development and in your relationship with them.
To make things simple, I have developed a Playtime Quick Start Series where you can learn a play skill in five minutes or less! This Blog will teach you how to use the Regulating Skill, one of the nine play skills I have identified to help parents connect with their children through play.
Instructions for the Regulating Skill:
The objective of the Regulating Skill is to encourage regulated play by calming and regulating your child’s nervous system as needed during playtime.
Choose and set up a play activity that would be calming for your child, possibly one that includes sensorimotor elements.
Initiate the play activity with your child by explaining the activity, giving clear directions to your child in a quiet, slow, and calm manner. Notice how your child responds. Ideally, your child will engage in the activity in a focused and calm manner.
Maintain a calming, soothing, and nurturing environment in order to regulate your child’s emotional intensity and nervous system.
Keep the following in mind:
- With this skill, it is important for parents to regulate their own nervous systems to “co-regulate” their children’s nervous systems and also to use calming parent behaviors such as using a quieter voice and slower movements.
Afterwards, reflect on this activity:
- How did you feel doing this activity? Were you able to regulate your nervous system?
- How did your child respond when you used the Regulating Skill? Did your child become more emotionally regulated during the activity?
- Keep track over several days of the times you used the Regulating Skill. Is your child beginning to develop more self-regulations skills?
For more information on helping your child with self-regulation skills:
Surprising Things You May Not Know About Self-Regulation!
You may want to consider this:
If you are interested in learning more about parent-child playtime, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2025.
Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful.
Contact me at: keugster@telus.net