by Kathy Eugster
October 2, 2025
When things are not going well for children, they will often behave in ways that cause problems. They may “act out” by not doing what they are told. Or perhaps, they may seem overly anxious or become very withdrawn. There are many ways that children show with their behaviors that they are struggling and not coping well.
When this happens, parents worry that their child’s behavior will get worse. They may also be faced with negative comments or complaints about their child from teachers, daycare workers, coaches, or other parents. This can be very upsetting for parents and can contribute to feelings of discouragement and uncertainty. No matter what the behavior looks like in a child, parents will usually become concerned and want to seek help for their child.
One of the best ways to help children with behavioral and emotional difficulties is through an approach known as play therapy.
What is Play Therapy?
Play therapy is a psychotherapeutic treatment approach specifically developed to help children, especially between the ages of three to twelve years old. A trained mental health professional, called a play therapist, will work with your child to explore and resolve problems through the therapeutic use of play.
Play therapy is different than regular play and does require the presence of a certified or registered play therapist, who is specially trained through education, experience, and supervision to create a safe environment for your child and to interact with your child in such a way that the therapeutic benefits of play are activated.
Child and therapist will work together in a counselling space called a playroom, which is equipped with specially chosen toys that will encourage the safe expression of feelings and also support the development of healthier behaviors.
A typical playroom may contain:
- dress-up and make-believe clothing and props such as hats, masks, jewelry
- miniature toys such as people, animals, cars, trucks, other vehicles, fantasy figures
- a small sandbox
- puppets, stuffed toys, dolls
- a dollhouse, castle, fort, school with furniture and props
- real-life toys such as toy food, a kitchen, a medical kit
- art materials for drawing, painting, and creating
- clay and musical instruments for sensorimotor activities
- construction toys for building and making things
- indoor active games such as foam balls, ring toss, or indoor basketball
In the beginning, the therapist will often invite your child to play in an open-ended manner. Your child will be allowed to play in almost any way they would like as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody or anything. As treatment progresses, the therapist may become more directive by encouraging your child to play with specific items or participate in certain activities that would address your child’s current problems.
How is Play Therapeutic?
But, how is play therapeutic for children? How does play therapy work to help children feel better and improve their behavior? What are the benefits of play therapy? Below are some ways that play therapy helps children.
Facilitating Healing from Past Stressful or Traumatic Experiences
Sometimes children go through experiences that are stressful or traumatic for them. These experiences may not enter their minds in a normal manner and can remain “stuck” or even out of awareness. The feelings associated with these experiences can also get stuck and are frequently what cause emotional and behavioral problems that adults observe in children.
In order for children to feel better and improve their behavior, they need to make sense out of the stressful or traumatic experience and assimilate it into what they already know about the world. This is known as “processing” an experience and it usually involves expressing thoughts and feelings and coming to a new understanding about the experience, which then leads to behavior changes. This is similar to what an adult does in counselling by talking with a therapist.
For children things are different. Talking about problems using words is often difficult for them. We do know however that children express themselves much better by playing than by talking. In play, children will express themselves symbolically through the toys. This means that experiences in their lives that have impacted them in some way will show up as play behaviors.
For example, a child who has been in a car accident may play by crashing toy cars together. A child who has seen his parents fighting may use puppets to act out these conflicts seen at home. In play therapy then, children are allowed to safely express, using toys, all the things they have difficulty saying, or may even be unable to say at all, with words.
In play therapy, when children play with toys in symbolic ways that are similar to difficult situations or traumatic events that they have experienced in their lives, this symbolic expression is therapeutic in itself and can bring about positive changes within the child.
Allowing the Expression of Feelings
Play therapy offers children the opportunity to express feelings safely in ways that may be unacceptable in other settings. At school children may not have the opportunity to express their feelings and may act out with inappropriate behaviors. At home children may be reluctant to express themselves for fear of hurting or angering their parents.
By expressing feelings in play therapy, even if it is symbolically through toys, children can begin to feel better. Expressing feelings leads to understanding feelings, which then leads to a decrease in the intensity of feelings. Feelings become less bothersome so children can then devote more of their mental energy to creative activities and problem-solving, which will result in mastery of tasks and an increase in self-confidence and self-esteem.
Encouraging Creative Thoughts and New Ideas
During play therapy, creative thoughts are encouraged, and the play therapist will help your child play in ways that help them to make sense of their problems. Your child may play out different endings to a particular make-believe story, finding one ending that feels good. Your child may also pretend to be different characters. This gives them an idea of what it feels like to be in another person’s shoes. This ability to experience and understand different perspectives helps children enormously not only to understand themselves better but also by encouraging them to develop a sense of empathy towards others.
Even though your child may have no power to change their real world outside of the playroom, in the playroom they do have the experience of being the one in control, which can be very empowering.
Allowing Development of Healthy Decision-Making Skills
During play therapy, children are given the opportunity to make decisions and choices for themselves, thus enabling them to take control of the environment and to take responsibility for their actions.
For example, if your child has trouble making decisions independently, the therapist may support your child in making a choice or coming to a decision on their own, which can increase your child’s self-confidence and self-reliance.
For a child who consistently breaks rules, the opportunity to make decisions and to take responsibility for their behavior is also very beneficial. During play therapy, the therapist may deal with your child’s inappropriate behaviors by setting limits and enforcing consequences in such a way that it is up to your child to make the right behavioral choice to avoid the consequence. In this way, your child is encouraged to develop an internal sense of self-control.
Enabling Communication of Problems and Concerns to Others
By expressing themselves symbolically through toys in play therapy, children are allowed to distance themselves from difficult feelings and memories, which are frequently too hard for them to talk about directly. This gives children the opportunity to communicate their fears, worries, problems, wishes, and desires to others, even if it is done symbolically through toys.
By observing your child in play, the therapist will get a better understanding of your child’s inner world, which allows the therapist to understand what your child needs in order to provide the appropriate type of help and support.
Supporting the Learning of New Ways of Thinking and Behaving
Play therapists may introduce specific activities that would help children address their difficulties more directly. These activities would be presented at age-appropriate levels. With younger children the activities would likely focus mainly on pretend play activities while for older children workbooks and more advanced activities would be used.
Play therapists identify misunderstandings that children may have and information can be provided that will help them to develop more adaptive perspectives. Children can also learn appropriate behaviors through modeling of these behaviors by the play therapist. Play therapists may also teach children certain skills, like deep breathing, relaxation exercises, and mental imagery, to help manage difficult feelings.
Final Thoughts
Play therapists have been evaluating the research conducted over the past fifty years on the effectiveness of play therapy and have found that play therapy is an effective treatment for children experiencing a wide variety of social, emotional, and behavioral problems. It is also an excellent way to help children recover and heal from stressful or traumatic experiences.
As stated earlier, play therapy is not the same as regular play and to be effective does require the presence of a certified or registered play therapist. It is within this unique and therapeutic environment that your child can gain relief from emotional difficulties and develop more appropriate behaviors.
Certified or registered play therapists can be found through the following associations:
- Canadian Association for Play Therapy
- Association for Play Therapy (US)
- British Columbia Play Therapy Association
You may want to consider this:
If you are interested in learning more about parent-child playtime, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2025.
Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful.
Contact me at: keugster@telus.net