by Kathy Eugster, MA
Structured imaginary playtime is a parent-directed play strategy where you can structure your child’s playtime according to your child’s needs at the time. It is done within the context of imaginary play where you can communicate ideas, role-model behaviors, and teach skills through the metaphor of play. Children do well with this, since play is often called the language of childhood. Children understand concepts much better through play scenarios rather than through abstract verbal explanations.
What are play themes?
Play themes are themes that arise in play that are meaningful for a child. Child development researchers have identified these common and normal themes found in children’s play:
- Power and Aggression
- Danger and Safety
- Nurturance and Family
- Mastery
Sometimes, your child’s play may appear very negative, for example, there may be lots of fighting between different groups or characters may be put in dangerous situations, hurt, or even killed. These themes of aggression and danger are very common and normal in children’s play, especially when there are difficult events happening in the real world. Children use play to gain a better understanding of confusing and complex real life situations that they are beginning to be exposed to.
Structured Imaginary Playtime
You can structure your child’s imaginary play when you want to provide information to your child in order to clarify new or confusing situations or experiences. You would first decide on a specific theme to introduce through imaginary play, for example, finding a safe and secure place, being surrounded and protected by safe and familiar adults, or being rescued or escaping from danger. There are many different themes you can introduce depending on what you would like to communicate and reinforce to your child.
To communicate your ideas and reinforce themes, you can insert a moral or lesson into the imaginary play scenario. You can also teach your child specific skills by role-modeling appropriate behaviors within the imaginary play story. You can attach appropriate endings to a story as well, so that there is a sense of completeness and stability at the end.
This type of play can be used to counteract difficult situations that occur in real life. Natural disasters, war, conflict, and violence are all too common in our world these days. Structured imaginary play can be used by parents to support their children in gaining a better and healthier understanding of these difficult events.
Example #1: Structuring the play by inserting a moral or lesson
You can structure playtime so that you are incorporating and reinforcing some kind of a positive quality or moral value within the play scenario. For example, you may want to reinforce being kind and helpful to others, taking control of a situation, or sharing and taking turns.
- Your child is playing with his Lego and has made a space station where his “good” Lego characters are defending themselves against “bad” aliens.
- You decide to reinforce the quality of being helpful to others by pretending to be a helpful good Lego character. You take hold of and give a voice to one of the good Lego characters and play out the role of being helpful and supportive. For example:
- You could move your Lego character over to the wall and start putting blocks on it to build up the wall higher and have your character say, “Here, let me help you build this wall higher.”
- You could take up some blocks and start building a new fence and have your Lego character say, “I will build a fence over here to block the aliens.”
- You can make a small hiding spot for the good Lego characters and then have your character say, “Look, here’s a hiding spot I made for you.”
- You could have your Lego character say, “What do you want me to do?” and then follow your child’s directions.
- If you notice your child has made one of the good Lego characters get hurt by the aliens, you could have your Lego character go to help him and bring him to safety.
- Throughout the play scenario, you are structuring things so you are demonstrating helpful and cooperative behaviors to support others.
Example #2: Role-modeling appropriate behavior
You can structure the playtime by pretending to be a character and role-modeling healthy and appropriate words and actions through your character. For example, you could role-model and demonstrate assertive behaviors, teamwork and cooperation, or relaxation strategies for your child as you are pretending to be an imaginary character.
You notice your child is playing with her animals. She has a group of animals playing at a playground.
- You decide to role-model and reinforce the quality of being assertive with others.
- First, you want to demonstrate “bossy” and controlling behaviors so you take hold of one of the animal characters and pretend that this is the bossy character by having this animal character do and say things to the other animal characters like:
- “No, you can’t go here! You have go over there first and then you can go here” as you block one of the other animals from playing with something.
- “No, you can’t do that, only the brown animals can do that!” as you block another animal from doing something.
- You have your bossy animal character tell another animal character to climb and balance on top of a high wall by saying, “You have to climb up to the top and stand on the top all by yourself!”
- You then role-model assertive behavior by taking hold and pretending to be one of the animals being bossed around and acting in an appropriate and assertive manner to the bossy character, for example:
- Having this character walk away and say, “No, I’m not doing that. It’s too dangerous!”
- Having this character say, “Stop making up all the rules! Let others decide what to do too!”
- Having this character say, “Now the spotted animals can have a turn doing that.”
- Having this character walk away and say, “No, I’m not hiding in that hole.”
- Having this character say, “No, I’m not going up that ladder like you’re telling me.”
- Having this character say, “Stop holding me!” or “Stop pushing me!”
Example #3: Putting a different ending on a story
Sometimes children play a particular imaginary scenario that seems to always end in a particular manner, for example, a small and vulnerable character is left alone to face danger or a bad character is lurking around home. You can structure the play so that you put a different ending on to the story so that there is a sense of safety and stability at the end.
- Your child is playing with his dinosaurs and has a family of dinosaurs go on a camping trip to the “desert.” He has recently been playing out a scenario where he leaves the baby dinosaur abandoned by the rest of the family in the desert at night. He has a “bad” dinosaur approach the baby dinosaur and, several times, your child has had the bad dinosaur eat the baby dinosaur.
- You decide to change the ending of the story and when your child is at the point where he has the baby dinosaur alone at night with the bad dinosaur approaching, you take hold of a different but powerful other character and pretend that this powerful character is coming to protect the baby dinosaur. You could give voice to this character by saying something like,
- “Get out of here bad dinosaur! You’re not allowed to hurt this baby dinosaur!” and you could then have your powerful character block the bad dinosaur from approaching.
- You could have your good powerful character give the baby dinosaur special powers to defeat the bad dinosaur by saying, “Baby dinosaur, I give you special powers so that you can defeat the bad dinosaur!”
- You could have your good character rescue the baby dinosaur saying, “Jump on my back baby dinosaur and I will take you to safety.”
- You could also have the dinosaur family reunite so that they are all together at the end of the story.
Tips to keep in mind:
- Although you are structuring the imaginary play at times, remember not to take over from your child completely. You should “back off” at times to let your child take over how the story unfolds. You can always “jump in” at any point to add more structure to the story. Think of playtime as if you are having an interactive conversation with your child. You add something to the story, and then you allow your child to add something to the story.
- Make your additions to the story tentatively at first and observe how your child is accepting your additions to the story. Your child may be quite happy with your new plot-line, or with the characters you have added, and may incorporate your additions into her play. However, your child may also not accept what you have added to her story. She may protest or she may ignore what you have added. If this is the case, you would not continue with your additions to the play scenario.
- If your child resists or does not accept your additions to the story, you can try adding something different or approach the story in a different way to see if your child will accept it. For example, you can make the story more appealing or less scary. Sometimes it takes trial and error to add something to your child’s imaginary play that will be acceptable.
- You can incorporate your child’s real world experiences into imaginary play. For example, if your child has just started school, you can set up a play scenario that includes a school and some children. You would structure the story so that there are lots of positive feelings and outcomes.
Finally:
When you structure your child’s imaginary play, you are not only teaching your child important lessons through the metaphor of play, but you are entering into your child’s special world and connecting on a deeper and more meaningful level.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2022.
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