Pacific Spirit Play Resources

The importance of play for adults

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by Kathy Eugster

December 4, 2023

There is a growing body of evidence from neuroscientists, psychologists, and educators that play is essential not only for children, but for adults as well.

What is play? Play is doing something simply just for the fun of it. We can describe play as an activity that:

  • is self-directed
  • is intrinsically motivated
  • has no purpose outside the activity itself

As adults, some of us may see play as a diversion, self-indulgent, not a productive use of time, and even unnecessary or frivolous, and prioritize “getting things done” over play. However, researchers have found that playfulness in adults relates to positive psychological functioning.

The science of play

Jaak Panksepp, a prominent neuroscientist, identified seven foundational brain circuits that are primary emotions we are born with. These primal emotions are with us at birth, pre-wired in an ancient part of our brains called the midbrain. One of these primary emotional circuits is the PLAY circuit. The instinct to play is built into our biology, through the play circuits in our brains, and is found in many other animals as well. Neurons of our play circuits can be activated by playful elements in our environment, causing us to engage in playful activities.

Healthy for parents’ well-being in general

Researchers Daniel Siegel and David Rock developed a framework for understanding the ideal “diet” for our brains. They coined the term, The Healthy Mind Platter, which consists of a set of seven essential daily mental activities that optimize brain and mental health. These seven daily activities are what your brain needs for optimal neurocognitive functioning and well-being: 

  • Focus Time: When we closely focus on tasks in a goal-oriented way, taking on challenges that make deep connections in the brain.
  • Play Time: When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel experiences, which helps make new connections in the brain.
  • Connecting Time: When we connect with other people, ideally in person, or take time to appreciate our connection to the natural world around us, richly activating the brain’s relational circuitry.
  • Physical Time: When we move our bodies, aerobically if possible, which strengthens the brain in many ways.
  • Time In: When we quietly reflect internally, focusing on sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, helping to better integrate the brain.
  • Downtime: When we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, which helps our brain recharge.
  • Sleep Time: When we give the brain the rest it needs to consolidate learning and recover from the experiences of the day.

Researchers have found that play is one of the seven essential activities your brain needs every day to function at its best.

Play promotes exploration, imagination, creativity, learning, innovation, and metal flexibility as it activates the reward centers of the brain. Play decreases stress, encourages positive feelings, and is energizing. Play also has a positive effect on cognition. Play prepares us to deal with the unexpected by broadening the breadth of experiences we have to draw from when meeting new challenges. Play is also a way for young and old to connect in positive ways.

How do adults play?

Adult play isn’t always obvious and adults don’t reach a playful state as easily as children do. Dr. Stuart Brown, at the National Institute for Play, has researched different ways adults play.

We all have preferences for different types of play. Some of us like being active and moving our bodies, and others like engaging in competitive games. Many adults enjoy designing, creating, and making things, while others enjoy collecting things. Engaging with others in enjoyable and fun social activities, just enjoying each others’ company, is another activity many of us enjoy. Exploring new places, connecting with nature and animals, and learning things are favorite activities for many while others like planning and organizing. And of course using your imagination to read, listen to, watch, or even write stories or music is enjoyable for many adults. There are many types of play that adults can enjoy.

Getting into your “play state” is specific to you. What are your favorite ways to play? How do you feel playful? What do you enjoy doing? What makes you laugh? The activities you enjoyed as a child can give you a clue to the kinds of activities you will enjoy and find playful as an adult. Think back to enjoyable activities when you became so absorbed you lost track of time.

One way to tell if the activity involved in is actually play for that person is knowing if the person doing the activity is engaged and feeling content with the challenge. If so, then it is play; if they are feeling bored, irritated, or burdened by the task, then it is not play.

Here’s something interesting:

While it is well known that both laughter and humor can have deep and long-lasting positive psychological effects, it is only recently that research is indicating that the physical act of laughing, even without humor, is linked to chemical changes in the body that potentially reduce stress and increase pain tolerance.

Playing with your child can be good for you too!

An important way for parents to increase playfulness in their lives is to engage in parent-child play. Parent-child play that is child-directed can be particularly enjoyable for parents because children lead and direct the play activities and parents follow along (as long as things stay safe and non-destructive) meaning that parents do not need to think up different ways to keep their children entertained. With child-directed play, there is no specific goal to achieve in playtime other than to just enjoy being together and having fun. 

Please see the following Blog articles that provide more information on child-directed play:

6 Key Concepts for Child-Directed Play with Your 3-10 Year-old Child

Setting Limits in Playtime

Make the Most Out of 15 Minutes with Your Child

Wait! Imaginary play for only 10 minutes?

Developing and cultivating a playful attitude is beneficial for you not only because having a playful attitude is healthy for your well-being, but having a playful attitude facilitates parent-child play, which we know is one of the best ways to strengthen the parent-child relationship and support healthy child development. 

Tips for cultivating a playful attitude with your child

When I was working as a play therapist with children and families, I put together for parents some basic tips for being playful with their children:

  • Smile and make eye contact. Increase your level of emotional intensity. Be energetic and enthusiastic.
  • Change your voice to be louder, quieter, higher, or lower. Talk in a silly voice. Make funny faces. Act in a goofy manner.
  • Pretend and make-believe with objects. Objects do not necessarily need to look realistic; a box could be a boat or a stick could be a magic wand.
  • Mime actions and add sound effects, for example pretend to drink out of a toy cup and make slurping noises or pretend to knock on a door and make knocking noises.
  • Incorporate elements of surprise or novelty by doing something unexpected, but remember to keep things happy and fun and not scary or frightening.
  • Exaggerate emotions, but remember to keep things funny or engaging and not scary. For example, pretend to be sad and cry loudly, “Whaaa, I lost my book!”, pretend to be angry and say, “Okay, now I’m really mad!”

  • Your child may want you to portray a character through a toy, for example by saying, “Mom, you be this dinosaur!” You can do this by picking up, holding onto, and moving around the toy as you give voice to the toy in first person narrative. For example, pick up the dinosaur toy and moving it around say, “Grrrr, I’m hungry! Where’s my food!” Or, portraying a baby doll, take hold of the doll and move her arms and say, “I’m lost! Where’s my mommy?” You can even give voice to inanimate objects, for example, hold onto a toy car and have the car say, “Hey, I want to go back to my garage!”
  • Your child may want you to portray a character by taking on an imaginary role yourself, for example, by saying, “Dad, you be the teacher.” To take on an imaginary role, you would pretend to be that character (such as a doctor, teacher, superhero, or monster) by talking in first person narrative and acting like that character. For example, pretending to be a doctor, you could say, “Okay, come into my office and sit here and I will give you’re dolly a check-up.” You would then continue playing the role of the doctor as long as your child is interested in this activity.

Here are some hints for being playful when you are portraying a different character:

  • You can portray characters that are wise, strong, or helpful, for example a super-hero, protector, teacher, doctor.
  • Children also like characters that you portray as small, weak, or vulnerable because they can easily relate to them.
  • Children also love it when parents portray characters that are comically flustered, incompetent, or sneaky, for example you could pretend to be a sneaky character and say, “Okay, I’m going to hide the treasure here where they will never find it, haha!” or you could pretend to be flustered and say, “Oh no! I’m going to be late! Oh no! I’ll get into trouble!” or you could pretend your toy is clumsy by having, for example, your toy dinosaur trip and fall and you giving voice to the dinosaur by saying, “Whoops! I didn’t see that hole!”

Children find it much easier to engage in play with a parent who is attentive and has a playful attitude, rather than a parent who is overly serious, aloof, or distant. Psychologist Lawrence Cohen has written a book entitled Playful Parenting where he illustrates many different ways for parents to cultivate a playful attitude with their children.

You may want to consider this:

If you are interested in learning more about parent-child play, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play, for comprehensive guidelines. This book will help make playtime easier and more enjoyable for you and your child. My book is unique in that it will provide you with a framework for engaging in parent-child play that can be applied to any play activity.

Also, you may want to subscribe to my email list (see below) to be the first to know when I post new Blogs, usually every month.

References

Cohen, L.J. (2001). Playful Parenting. Ballantine Books.

Louie, D., Brook, K., & Frates, E. (2016). The Laughter Prescription: A Tool for Lifestyle Medicine. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2016 Jun 23;10(4):262-267   https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6125057/

Piore, A. (July 19, 2023). Do You Play Enough? Science says it’s critical to your health and well-being. Newsweek Magazine.  https://www.newsweek.com/2023/07/28/do-you-play-enough-science-says-its-critical-your-health-well-being-1813808.html

Play Isn’t Just for Kids. (2023). National Institute for Play  https://www.nifplay.org/

Proyer, R.T., Ruch, W. (2011). The virtuousness of adult playfulness: the relation of playfulness with strengths of character. Psych Well-Being 1, 4. https://doi.org/10.1186/2211-1522-1-4

Rock, D. (Aug 11, 2022). Unlocking the cognitive benefits of play. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/your-brain-at-work/202208/unlocking-the-cognitive-benefits-of-play

Rock, D., Siegel, D.J., Poelmans, A.Y., & Payne, J. (2012). The Healthy Mind Platter. NeuroLeadership Journal (ISSN 2200-8535) Issue Four https://www.researchgate.net/publication/276293360_The_Healthy_Mind_Platter

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Copyright  Kathy Eugster, MA,  2023.

Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful. 

Contact me at: keugster@telus.net