Kathy Eugster, MA
January 1, 2025
Imaginary, make-believe, or pretend play is generally loved by children but I found when I was working as a play therapist that many parents were uncomfortable with this form of play and felt more comfortable with reality-based forms of play such as board or card games and building activities. Many parents find it difficult and stressful to make up an imaginary story and feel they need to entertain their children with something elaborate. It’s also true that some children find it difficult to engage in play.
One activity I found very simple and easy for me as an adult and at the same time fun and useful for engaging children in play was something called Mutual Storytelling. This game was developed in 1986 by child psychiatrist Richard A. Gardner, MD and has been used over the years by many play therapists. I have adapted his game slightly to encourage engagement and interaction.
Basically, this game involves parent and child taking turns making up an imaginary story. The advantage of this activity is that there is no need for parents to make up long, drawn out, make-believe stories. The parent’s job is to merely add something very brief and fairly neutral to the story so that it will prompt and encourage their child to continue with the story in whatever direction their child wants.
Instructions
Step 1: To Begin
Have a selection of small toys available, for example, miniature people or animal characters, toy cars or trucks, stuffed animals, dolls, or puppets to choose from.
You would begin by saying something like,
- “Let’s make up a story. I’ll start, and then you can have a turn, then we’ll take turns making up the story. But first, let’s choose who will be in the story. I will choose three things and you can choose three things to start.”
Allow some time for both of you to choose your toys, for example, you could choose a lion, a little boy and a dog and your child might choose a robot, Batman, and a car.
For the imaginary story, you will control the items you choose (lion, boy, dog) and your child controls the items they choose (robot, Batman, car). Do this by holding on to your toy and moving it wherever you want.
Your child may also, during parts of the story, decide to direct some of your characters, and that’s okay because you are allowing your child to take control of the direction of the story.
Step 2: You Start the Story
You would start by introducing the characters and saying something like,
- “Once upon a time, there was a lion, a little boy, and a dog; there was also Batman, a robot, and a car.”
You would begin your turn by making up something fairly neutral to start the story, like stating what one of your characters is going to do or what your character might be noticing. For example, you could say something like,
- “One day the boy and his dog were going for a walk and they saw a lion,” as you move your boy and dog characters as if they are going for a walk, and then stop them when they get close to the lion.
If you want, you could add a bit more to the story by saying something like,
- “The lion was asleep and didn’t see them coming,” as you lay the lion down.
You can also give voice to your toy by holding on to it and speaking using first person narrative, for example you could have the little boy speak by holding onto the toy and at the same time saying,
- “Oh hi lion. I’m tired and I’m going to rest here too.”
Step 3: Get Your Child to Continue the Story
When you have finished your part of the story, you would shift the storytelling over to your child by prompting your child to take over the story saying something like,
- “Okay, now it’s your turn to continue with the story.”
Ideally, your child will add something to the story and hopefully take on the roles of their chosen characters. For example, your child may take hold of their robot, move it to where your characters are and, taking on the role of the robot, your child might say, “No! You’re not allowed to sleep here! You have to sleep over there,” indicating a different place where your character should rest.
When your child directs you or your characters to do something, just follow their directions on what to do as long as it is safe and non-destructive. So, for the above example, you would move your character to the spot your child has indicated.
Give your child time to add to the story. For example, your child may get their Batman character to grab your lion character and hide it under a pillow, and say, “Batman put the lion in the cave here.”
You can keep letting your child add to the story if they are interested and engaged. Your job is to follow along with how the story unfolds as told by your child. For example, your child may put Batman and the robot in the car and say, “Batman and Robot are driving home,” as your child drives the characters to a new spot.
Step 4: You Take Another Turn Telling the Story
When your child pauses and has finished telling their part of the story, you would say something like,
- “Okay, now it’s my turn,” and you would then add something to the story.
When you add your part to the story, remember to keep it brief and fairly neutral, for example, you could move your boy and dog characters over to where your child has put Batman and the robot and, taking on the role of the little boy, you could say,
- “Hi Batman. Hi Robot. What are you doing?”
Step 5: Get Your Child to Continue the Story
You would then prompt and encourage your child to continue with the story by saying to your child,
- “Okay, now it’s your turn.”
Again, allow your child time to add to the story. For example, your child may say, taking on the role of Batman, “We’re going to a new planet. There’s treasure there. Let’s go!” moving their characters to a different spot.
Step 6: Continue Taking Turns Telling the Story
Continue going back and forth taking turns telling the story, making sure you are allowing your child to be the one who is adding the most to the story and directing how the story unfolds.
To Summarize
- With this activity, there is no pressure on you to make up or complete the story; your job is to remain in a mostly nondirective role and to add something brief and fairly neutral to the story-line.
- Your child may not add much to the story initially, and that’s okay. Just continue to take turns and add in your short contribution to the story.
- Your child may tell you what to do or correct you, so follow along with their directions as long as it is safe and non-destructive. Let your child direct how the story unfolds.
- You can also play this game by pretending to be a character yourself instead of acting out a character through a toy. For example, you could pretend to be a doctor instead of having a doll or puppet be the doctor.
This game is a wonderful way to prompt and encourage children to engage in imaginary play. And at the same time, it frees parents from the pressure of having to make up an entire imaginary story! With this activity, you are giving permission to your child to freely engage with you together in play.
For More Information
For more information on how you can engage in imaginary play with your child, please see the following Blog articles:
Fantastical Play: Like Alice in Wonderland!
Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? De-mystifying Imaginary Play
Acting for Dummies! Secrets of Playtime Role-Play for Parents
You may want to consider this:
If you are interested in learning more about parent-child or caregiver-child play, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2025.
Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful.
Contact me at: keugster@telus.net