by Kathy Eugster
September 22, 2022
Adults often feel uncomfortable engaging with children in imaginary or pretend play. This is unfortunate because playing together in an imaginary, pretend, or make-believe way is a fantastic way to connect and have fun with your child.
What is imaginary play?
Imaginary play is when you and your child use your imaginations to pretend and make up play scenarios that have various plots and story-lines, even if they become make-believe or fantastical. You can use toys or other objects to represent various things in the story. And you and your child will be bringing to life different characters in the story by taking on the role and giving voice to those characters.
When you wait for your child to invite you to join her in imaginary play (your child says, “Daddy you be the teacher.”), you are engaging in Child-Directed Playtime. When you initiate imaginary play with your child (you say, “Let’s play with your astronauts today and pretend they are going to explore a new planet.”), you are engaging in Parent-Directed Playtime. To see some tips for engaging with your child in each of these styles of imaginary play, please see my Blog Wait! Imaginary Play for Only 10 Minutes?
In this Blog, I’ve put together some more tips for you to help you get involved in imaginary play with your child.
Increase your emotional intensity
- Be energetic and enthusiastic. Smile and make eye contact.
- Incorporate elements of surprise or novelty by doing something unexpected, but remember to keep things happy and fun and not scary or frightening.
- Exaggerate emotions, but remember to keep things funny or engaging and not scary. For example, pretend to be sad and cry loudly, “Whaaa, I lost my book!”, pretend to be angry and say, “Okay, now I’m really mad!”
Pretending
- Objects do not necessarily need to look realistic, for example, a block could be a car or a stick could be a magic wand.
- Model imaginary play behaviors by miming actions, for example pretend to brush your teeth, eat a sandwich, or ride a bike. You can add sound effects as well.
- Change your voice to be louder, quieter, higher, or lower. Talk in a silly voice. Make funny faces. Act in a goofy manner.
Role-playing a character
- Your child may want you to portray a character through a toy, for example by saying, “Mom, you be this dinosaur!” You can do this by picking up, holding onto, and moving around the toy as you give voice to the toy in first person narrative. For example, pick up the dinosaur toy and moving it around say, “Grrrr, I’m hungry! Where’s my food!” Or, portraying a baby doll, take hold of the doll and move her arms and say, “I’m lost! Where’s my mommy?” You can even give voice to inanimate objects, for example, hold onto a toy car and have the car say, “Hey, I want to go back to my garage!”
- Your child may want you to portray a character by taking on an imaginary role yourself, for example, by saying, “Dad, you be the teacher.” To take on an imaginary role, you would pretend to be that character (such as a doctor, teacher, superhero, or monster) by talking in first person narrative and acting like that character. For example, pretending to be a doctor, you could say, “Okay, come into my office and sit here and I will give you’re dolly a check-up.” You would then continue playing the role of the doctor as long as your child is interested in this activity.
Puppet play
With puppets, put your hand into the puppet and open and close the puppet’s mouth in time and synchronized with the syllables of the words you say for the puppet. For example, to make your puppet say “Hi, my name is Brownie” do the following: open as you say “Hi” then close; open as you say “my” then close; open as you say “name” then close; open as you say “is” then close; open as you say “Brown-” then close; open as you say “-ie” then close.
Portraying different characters
Here are some examples of characters children enjoy when they are portrayed by parents:
- a role they can identify with, like a small or vulnerable character or a character in danger
- a wise person who role-models positive behaviors or coping skills
- a protector who can rescue or protect others
- a scary, dangerous, or “bad” character where you exaggerate emotions, but do not make things scary or upsetting for your child
- a character who is incompetent, clumsy, or bumbling; this can be very comical and engaging for kids
- a character that is “sneaky” or a “trickster”, devising cunning schemes intended to deceive, cheat, or outwit someone
One final point for you:
Don’t take over the play! Let your child come up with ideas for how the play unfolds, even if it may not be the way you want it to unfold. And remember not to correct your child unless things become unsafe or destructive. Your child learns so much about the real world through imaginary play. Take advantage of the above tips so that you can join in your child’s special imaginary play world. Even though it may feel awkward for you, your child will love it!
You may want to consider this:
If you are interested in learning more about parent-child play, please see my book, Play Skills for Parents: Connecting With Your Child Through Play, for comprehensive guidelines. This book will help make playtime easier and more enjoyable for you and your child. My book is unique in that it will provide you with a framework for engaging in parent-child play that can be applied to any play activity.
Also, you may want to subscribe to my email list (see below) to be the first to know when I post new Blogs, usually every month.
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Copyright Kathy Eugster, MA, 2022.
Please feel free to pass on this article to anyone you think might find it useful.
Contact me at: keugster@telus.net